Gaining
Control by Understanding My Envelope
By Bruce Campbell
(Note: This
article is adapted from a chapter in Recovery
from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: One Person’s Story.)
When
I was first ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I often felt like a powerless
victim, but the idea of the Energy Envelope enabled me to regain control
of my life. Accepting the limits imposed by CFS (living within my Energy
Envelope) enabled me to take charge again and to expand my limits
gradually.
My
first months with CFS were filled with frustration, as I slowly
recognized that CFS had imposed tight limits on me. Adding to my
frustration, being active even a little outside those limits resulted in
a disproportionate increase in
symptoms. For example, I found that I could walk for 15 minutes most days without
intensifying symptoms, but 25 minutes might send me to bed for an hour.
I
took a step in a more positive direction when I remembered the distinction
between acute and chronic illness. Acute or short-term illnesses are
temporary problems, conditions in which the diagnosis and treatment are
clear and the outcome is usually predictable and positive. Such
illnesses can be cured by medical help or are self-limiting. Chronic
illness is different. Instead of interrupting life briefly, it imposes
long-term limits and forces patients to adjust their lives to it.
Because of limits and uncertainty, there is often a high level of
frustration and a sense of helplessness.
Like
many other patients, I learned that using an "acute illness"
approach to CFS didn’t work. If I tried to ignore my body and just
push through, my symptoms were intensified greatly. I began to ask
myself whether I might gain some control if I could find and honor my
limits. I hoped that by being less active, I could gain some control of
my symptoms.
The
Energy Envelope
The
idea that gave my efforts direction was that of the Energy Envelope,
which I found in an article in the CFIDS Chronicle. The article suggested that CFS patients have limited
energy, but that they can gain some control by keeping the
energy they expend within the limits of their available energy. The
authors called this "living inside the energy envelope."
For
some time, I used this idea in a general way and found it very helpful.
I would ask myself whether doing something would take me "outside
the envelope" or whether I was living "inside the
envelope." I used this idea in combination with monthly evaluations
using our Rating
Scale. My self-ratings changed only a few points each month at best,
suggesting that any improvement would be slow. But rating myself
regularly provided a useful reminder. It showed me how far from normal I was and
reinforced the idea that I could be active only a few hours a day without increasing my
symptoms.
Developing
a Detailed Understanding
The
concept of the energy envelope was useful, because it was a constant
reminder of new limits. After a while, however, I wanted
to go beyond this general idea and understand my limits in detail. This change was triggered by
some fellow patients pointing out to me that mental activity and stress
could be just as draining as physical activity. So I began to ask myself
a series of questions in order to get a fix on my limits and needs in
different areas of my life: How much mental activity
(reading or computer work, for example) could I do in a day? How much in
a single session? What are the stressors in my life? How much sleep do I
need each night? How much daytime rest? How long can I drive safely? How
long can I stand at one time without intensifying my symptoms? How far
can I walk safely and at what speed?
I
was also concerned to find my limits in other areas. In addition to
those just mentioned, I included activity limits (which I defined as how
long I could do various activities like housework, shopping and spending
time with people), food sensitivities, sensitivity to light and noise,
and emotions.
Over
time, I ended up with a list of over a dozen items that I listed for
myself on a form called “My Energy Envelope.” It took me at least a
year to develop this more detailed understanding, but I felt rewarded
all along the way, because every limit I defined helped me gain more
control. I filled out the form once every several months and found it a
helpful way to assess how I was doing in some detail. Here’s a sample
of my energy envelope from the third year of my illness.
|
Sleep
|
7
1/2 hours, starting by 11 pm
|
|
Daytime
Rest
|
10-30
minutes on most days, sometimes more
|
|
Activity
|
4
hours a day. Activities like errands & housework OK in
moderation
|
|
Exercise
|
45
minutes walking OK on level ground
|
|
Reading
& Computer
|
Reading
OK most of time, but must limit time on computer, especially at
night
|
|
Driving
|
Limit
about 2 hours, sometimes tired after 30 minutes
|
|
Standing
|
Limit
1 hour, whether walking, shopping, cooking
|
|
Socializing
|
Usually
OK with one person or small group but respond strongly to some
people and vulnerable to stressful encounters
|
|
Other
Illnesses
|
Make
CFS symptoms 30-50% worse. Secondary illnesses are more severe now
than before
|
|
Emotions
|
More
easily upset than before. Strong emotions trigger CFS symptoms
|
|
Stressors
|
Life
mostly stable at present, so stressors low
|
|
Food
|
Haven’t
found any food sensitivities so far. Diet same as before
|
|
Sense
Data
|
Noisy
settings and loud noises are very bothersome, e.g. restaurants
|
Later
I included an additional section in the form, a place where I summarized my
abilities and limits, noted my greatest vulnerabilities and set goals for myself. This
section was a helpful summary of my current situation and also suggested
where work might give the biggest payoff in reduction of symptoms. (A
printable version of the Energy Envelope form is available through our Logs
and Forms page. For instructions on how to develop your own
detailed energy envelope, see the chapter titled The
Energy Envelope in our course textbook.)
I
learned a lot from studying my envelope. One surprising realization was
that my limits were more restrictive in some areas than in others.
During a period of time in which I thought that overall I was at about
60% of my pre-illness level of functioning, I could do only about 30% as
much exercise.
I
found it very helpful to share my envelope definition with family and
close friends. Getting outsiders’ views of my situation helped me to
be more realistic in my self-assessment and also helped others to
understand me better.
Learning
Through Experiments
One
way I found my envelope was by trying experiments and keeping records.
Experimentation was such an important part of my approach that I devote
all of another article to it. For now, let
me give a few examples of experiments I tried and the lessons I learned.
By
walking at different times of day, I discovered that exercising in the
afternoon was much less likely to lead to higher symptoms than
exercising in the morning. That observation led to the realization that
time of day was crucial: when I did something could be as
important as how much. When I tried extending my walks, I
observed that I sometimes felt fine during the walk but experienced
strong symptoms afterwards or had to take a nap later in the day. That
experience helped me to realize that the effects of activity might be
delayed, so to understand my limits I had to be attentive to how I felt
later as well as during and right after an activity. I also observed
that sometimes the effects of activity were cumulative, so that I might
feel tired after several days of exercise at a certain level.
Expanding
the Envelope
Even
though my envelope expanded very slowly overall, I found some ways I
could expand my activity level immediately. I just suggested one: by
being attentive to time of day. But I found several others by observing
my experience and by listening to other patients.
A
student in one of our first groups reported taught me the connection
between stress and symptoms. She said that at her birthday party a year earlier, she
had felt stressed by trying to play the good hostess, moving about and worrying whether everyone was having
a good time. The result was that she was tired and cranky after an hour. At a
party held during the course, she decided to imagine herself as a queen
who was observing the situation from a throne. Freed from the
self-imposed expectation that she should make sure everyone enjoyed
themselves, she found herself with good energy for more than two hours.
By relaxing, she reduced her worry and extended her energy. Her
experience taught me that if I could respond in a relaxed manner to
stressful situations, I could preserve energy that might otherwise be
dissipated in tension and anxiety. The net result would be more energy
for productive use, effectively an expansion in my energy envelope.
The
same student also taught me that how we rest can affect the amount of
energy available to us. I
learned from her that taking a short rest break to re-charge batteries
can expand the number of productive hours in the day. At the beginning of the course, she was resting
six hours during the day, taking two naps of three hours each. She
decided to break up her day into one- and two-hour blocks, taking a 10
to 15 minute rest during each block. Using this strategy, she reduced
her total rest time by an hour and a half a day after two months. Four
months later she was resting three hours a day, half as much as before
the course. By taking frequent short rests, she added three hours of
productive time to her day, without increasing her symptoms.
The use of planned
rests was one of the most powerful tools I found for controlling
symptoms. I thought it was so useful that I’ve written a whole article
on it. I’d like to describe here just one way I used the idea, to
expand my envelope for travel. I found that if I interrupted my driving
every two hours for a ten to
fifteen rest, I arrived fresher at my
destination and had a lower symptom level throughout my trip. Another
way that rest helped me increase my envelope was to take a brief rest as
soon as my symptoms became more intense. That strategy enabled me to
avoid a long period of "downtime," so that by giving in to my
symptoms I reduced my total rest time.
Another
way I expanded my activity level without increasing my symptoms was
through using routine. In observing myself, I noticed that novelty was a
source of stress. It takes more energy to respond to a new situation
than it does to something familiar. I found that I could save energy by
making my life predictable. I developed a scheduled of activity and
rest, reducing the surprises and emotional shocks in my life, thereby
reducing my stress.
Overall,
the idea of the energy envelope was very useful. By emphasizing the idea
of limits, it helped me to accept that I had restrictions. Also, the
idea motivated me to understand my limits in detail. By finding and
learning how to honor my limits, I found a powerful tool to help me
control my symptoms.
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