My Energy
Bank Account
By
Vicki Lockwood
Note:
Vicki Lockwood, a writer and retired paralegal, is a CFS/FM patient from Missouri and a graduate of
the CFIDS and Fibromyalgia Self-Help course. Her articles have
appeared in magazines and newspapers.
For a long time, I
had known that overdoing resulted in flares, but I had not given myself
permission to limit my activities. Then I did something simple that
changed my life in a dramatic way, allowing me to treat my body with
respect.
The Energy Bank Account
While I
was taking the self-help course offered
through this website, I learned about pacing to avoid flares.
I decided to apply pacing to myself by creating what I called My Energy
Bank Account. I began by listing everything I do, from showering to
eating an apple to having sex. Then I assigned a positive or negative
number to each. Things like sleeping, daytime rests and prayer add to my
energy and get positive numbers. Most of my activities reduce my energy
and so get negative numbers.
Once I
had assigned numbers, I used the plan like a check book, starting the
day with the positive number provided by sleep and then deducting and
adding with each action. It turned out some of the negative numbers
weren't high enough, which meant some things that I thought were not so
taxing, are much more so. For example, I found that taking on the phone
and taking out the garbage are more draining than I had thought. Also, I
found that every day is different and I have to adjust my numbers
depending on such things as the weather and how people in my family are
doing. I also learned to add extra points to an activity when I felt
stressed.
I start
the day by giving myself a number based on how well I have slept. If I
get nine hours of good sleep, I give myself 90 points, which is a
comfortable cushion above the level of 60, which I associate with a
flare. If I get fewer hours or my sleep is interrupted, I deduct points.
By making this calculation every day for a while, I realized that I was
on the verge of a flare at the start of any day when I had slept badly.
Recognizing
the link between poor sleep and flares encouraged me to protect my sleep
time. I began to prepare for bed earlier and to search for ways to
maintain uninterrupted sleep during the night. Also, I tried to work out
a schedule in the morning to minimize my expended energy, by making my
morning routine predictable. I did this by keeping my activity simple,
by having easy breakfast foods available and by eliminating unnecessary
activity.
Another
discovery was finding that an activity might have a positive or negative
number depending on circumstances. For example, yoga is usually
positive, but can be negative sometimes, too. If I’m looking forward
to it, and I have my pad and towel handy and there is a quiet place
where I can go to relax, then yoga is great for me. But if I can’t do
yoga until I’ve moved furniture, found my mat and towel and argued
with someone about how loud the TV is, then it’s a negative. I learned
that if something positive turns to a negative, it’s better not to do
it.
Once I
got my bank account up and running, and had used it for a month or so, I
found that pacing was no longer something I had to think about unless I
was doing something special, like taking a trip, going on vacation, or
had been thrown into some unusual situation. Unexpected situations call
for extra measures such as using a timer to limit activities, taking
time outs for a nap or some meditation.
The Energy Savings Account
I
invented a new term to help me with special events: My Energy Savings
Account. This is different from my regular Energy Bank Account, which I
use to pace daily activities. The Savings Account is my way to store
extra energy for special occasions. Special events are much more
draining than daily life, but I found I can make them more enjoyable if
I make deposits in my Savings Account with naps and other positive
activities in the days or weeks before the event. I try to save up a
hundred points a day for each day of the event. The higher my savings,
the better chance I have of getting through the special event without a
flare.
A Bank Account Example
To give
you an idea of how the Energy Bank Account works, let me give you an
example.
Let’s
say I got nine hours of sleep last night, but with some interruptions,
so I start the day with 83 points. After doing my morning toilette (-5
points), helping my husband shave and dress (-6), getting breakfast (-4)
and feeding the pets (-3), my balance would be down close the level of a
flare. It is time to make a deposit to build up the balance. Taking a
rest or meditating for half an hour adds 15 points and puts me back up
to around 80.
Then I
might spend some time on the computer (-10 points), do the breakfast
dishes (-4) and make lunch (-4). This brings my balance back near 60, so
it’s time for another deposit. I might spend some time alone reading
for pleasure or use the time for prayer (+10). After that, I would have
another session on the computer, using 10 energy points and bringing me
back to 60. (By the way, I use a kitchen timer to limit my computer time
to twenty-five minutes per session, followed by at least five minutes of
stretching.)
I then
add lots of points to my balance by taking a long nap (+30). I might
sleep for the whole time or sleep for part of the time and rest quietly
for the remainder. A nap might be followed by more time on the computer
(-10) and some time paying bills. The “cost” for the latter depends
on how stressed I’m feeling about the bills at the moment. If I am
worried that the payment will be late, I double the energy cost (-15).
Bill paying might be followed by yoga (+20) and making dinner (-10),
leaving me with 75 points.
I like to
write in the evenings. Writing is an enjoyable activity, but, because it
involves brain work, is an energy drain (-10). And there is always the
nighttime feeding ritual for the animals (-3). I also have to make sure
my husband and I both take our evening meds (-2). Then it’s time to
make a big deposit by going to bed for the night.
Sum
Using the
Energy Bank Account to pace myself has helped me in several ways. Most
importantly, it has given me permission to take care of myself.
Previously, I had rarely told anyone no and tried to do everything I
thought I was supposed to do. Now I listen to my body and honor its
limits. Remembering the cost of an activity, I can avoid overdoing. The
reminder is especially useful for those things I want to do,
where I can be tempted to forget the cost. Also, by giving me a
practical way to use the idea of pacing, it has enabled me to reduce my
pain and fatigue and increase my sense of control and well being. All it
took was pen and paper, and some thought. Balancing this checkbook is a
lot easier and more enjoyable than the one I use to keep track of
household finances. And in the long run, it’s a lot more important.
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