Once you have stated your
plan, you need to determine whether it is realistic. To judge whether a
target is doable, ask yourself “how confident am I that I can complete
this target as stated?” Answer by giving a number between 0 and 10,
where 0 means “not confident at all” and 10 means “totally
confident.” If the answer is 8 or higher, you have a good chance to
succeed. If your confidence level is lower, try stating your goal in
less ambitious terms. For example, you might reduce the number of times
per week. It usually works better to set a goal of doing something four
or five times a week rather than every day. Another way to modify your
plan is to reduce the length of time you do something, say from half an
hour to 15 minutes.
An alternative response
if your confidence is low is to ask what might stop you from achieving
your goal. For example, if you want to exercise outside, bad weather
might make that difficult. If you can identify potential problems, you
may be able to come up with solutions. Alternative ways to exercise in
bad weather might be to walk in a mall or use an exercise video at home.
Once you have considered alternatives, you can ask yourself if your
confidence level has changed.
Your success with targets
may be increased if you use the following guidelines. First, start by
setting a single target. This gives you a chance to learn how to use
targeting. It takes a while to develop a new skill. The purpose of
target setting is to help you have an experience of taking an active
role in managing your illness.
Second, accept yourself
as you are and begin by aiming to make a small change. If you do, you
are likely to succeed and your success will build on itself, boosting
your self-confidence and encouraging you to work for further
improvement.
Third, make your target
something that you want to do, not something that others want or
something that you think you “should” do. That way, your motivation
is likely to be higher and your chances for success better.
Implement
After you have formulated
your plan, write it down. In our groups, we use a target
form that is divided into three sections. Write
your target and confidence level in the section labeled “My Target.”
Putting your intention in writing helps strengthen your commitment.
Other ways to make it more likely that you will follow through include
telling other people about your plan and posting your target in a
prominent place, such as on the refrigerator.
As the week unfolds,
track your efforts by filling out the second section, “Results.” Use
this space to write down what you’ve done and any problems that have
arisen. Putting your experience in writing is a good way to hold
yourself accountable and thus increase your chances for success.
Evaluate
At the end of a week, evaluate
your results by asking how successful you were in meeting your target.
The two most common problems people experience in target setting are not
being specific and being too ambitious. The solution to the first is to
ask whether your target answers the four questions of what, how much,
when and how often. The solution to the second is to ask whether your
confidence level is at least 8 on a scale of 0 to 10.
Even if your target
is well stated and seems realistic, you may still experience problems.
Perhaps the unpredictability of your illness will prevent you from
completing the target as planned. Or you may decide that your target is
not realistic at this time. But whatever the results, you can learn from
your efforts. To help you gain something positive regardless of the
outcome, fill out the “Lessons” section of the form.
It can be helpful to
view your target setting as a series of experiments. If you meet your
target, you have a successful experiment and can gain some control over
your illness. If the results are different from your expectations, you
may learn something useful about your illness and your approach to it.
Sample Targets
The targeting technique
is remarkably flexible. You can make a target in practically any area of
your life. Here are some samples from people in our classes.
Rest for 20 minutes in the morning
and in the afternoon
Taking scheduled rests is
one of the most common and successful targets used by people in our
groups. Such “pre-emptive rests” can help control symptoms.
Go to bed by 10 pm
The person who set this
target wanted to re-establish a more normal routine after staying up
later and later. She first stated her target as “get to sleep by 10:30”
but then realized that she couldn’t control the time she feel asleep,
but she could control her bedtime.
Get off computer after 30
minutes
Some people experience
brain fog or nausea if they stay on the computer or do other mental work
too long. This target involved setting an activity limit. Targets can be
used to help you not do something or to limit how much you do.
Find a nanny to help with
childcare
The mother in this family
and her daughter both have CFIDS. The mother thought that by having
someone come in several times a week, her daughter would have more
companionship and the mother could have some free time.
Talk to my wife about our
relationship
The man who set this
target was worried about the extra responsibilities imposed on his wife
by his illness and wondered how they could handle all the uncertainty
created by his CFIDS. Making this commitment to his class motivated him
to have a long-postponed conversation.
Read a book for pleasure
This target was used by a
person who thought that the demands of family and illness had squeezed
all the pleasure out of her life. It may seem paradoxical to schedule
pleasure, but it worked.
One Student’s
Experience
To give you a more concrete idea
of how targets work, let’s look at the experience one student had with
her first target. This person found the idea of scheduled rest periods
appealing as a way to reduce her symptoms and bring more stability to
her life. (See discussion of rest in Chapter
6.) She accepted the
definition of rest we use in the class --lying down with your eyes
closed in a quiet place-- and set a target of resting 15 minutes every
afternoon during the following week. This target answered the four
questions. It defined what she was going to do (rest), how much (15
minutes), when (afternoon), and how often (daily).
Next she asked herself
how confident she was that she could complete the target as stated. Her
answer was 6, below the minimum level of 8 that we suggest. She realized
that she was uncomfortable committing to doing something daily, and
decided she would aim for four days rather than every day. With this
less ambitious goal, she rated her confidence at 8. Here is what she
wrote on her target form.
What
Rest
How much
15
minutes a session
When
Mid-afternoon
How often
Four
days in the next week.
Confidence
8
She began the week successfully by resting for 15 minutes on Monday
afternoon. She was surprised at how easy it was to do, and she got up
feeling more energetic, which she noted on her log. On Tuesday she lay
down as scheduled but got up after a few minutes when the phone rang.
She was expecting a call from her doctor’s office about some blood
tests. The call was from a friend, and they talked for half an hour. By
the time they finished, the person’s daughter was home from school, so
she gave up on the idea of rest for that day. On Wednesday she unplugged
the phone before lying down. A call came in during her rest, but the
answering machine took it. She felt a little guilty not answering the
call, but was refreshed by the rest.
On Thursday she did some
errands in the mid-afternoon and didn’t attempt a nap. On Friday, she
rested but got up feeling worse than when she lay down. She noted that
she was very worried about something her husband had said in the morning
before he left for work. He told her he wasn’t sure how much longer
his job would last. She felt anxious all day and her mind was spinning
during her rest. As a result, her time lying down didn’t feel very
restful.
The entries she made in
the “Results” section of her Target Sheet were as follows:
Mon 3:00 pm Rested 15 min
Felt better after
Tue
2:30 pm Rested 3 min
Stopped to answer phone
Wed
2:30 pm Rested 15 min Ignored call
Fri
3:00 pm Rested 15 min Felt worse after: worried
Lastly, she asked herself
what she had learned from her experience. She congratulated herself on
nearly meeting her target. She rested for three days, with some rest on
a fourth. She concluded that her experience was enough to show her the
value of resting. She had more energy after at least some of the rests,
gaining a sense that rest might offer a way to control her illness. In
thinking about the worry that had interfered with her rest on Friday,
she remembered hearing about relaxation techniques, and asked herself
whether she might practice them while resting. She thought that doing so
might help her rest her mind as well as her body, giving her a way to
reduce her worry. In the “Lessons” section of her Target Sheet she
wrote:
Resting can be helpful.
Want to try relaxation as part of rest.
Getting Started
Now it’s your turn.
Think of a problem that bothers you. Pick just one and commit to making
a start today. Then brainstorm several possible solutions, things that
might reduce or solve your problem. After reviewing them, pick one to
try in the next week and write down a target that answers the four
questions what, how much, when and how often. It could be about
something you plan to do or about rest or sleep or some other area of
your life, whatever you think would be helpful to you at this time.
Whatever it is, make your target specific like the examples given
earlier.
Once you’ve stated your
target, ask yourself how confident you are that you can complete it
successfully. Give your confidence a number between 0 (meaning no
confidence) and 10 (totally confident). If your confidence is less than
8, restate your goal in less ambitious terms. Once you have a target and
feel confident about achieving it, you’re ready to go. Give your
target a try for a week, and then look at the results. If you meet your
target, congratulate yourself. If you don’t, ask yourself what lessons
you can learn from the experience.